Breakable
by Nina.4444
Summary: Christina Yang knows hearts. Hearts are not for feeling. So why does hers hurt so much? And why can't she fix it?
1. Chapter 1

**Breakable**

**Chapter 1**

_**Have you ever thought about what protects our hearts;**__  
><em>_**Just a cage of rib bones and other various parts.**_

Christina Yang was strong. Christina Yang was strong and was resilient and tough and excellent. She was excellent. An excellent surgeon.

An excellent cardio-thoracic surgeon.

Or she would be anyway.

Christina Yang knew hearts. She knew valves and arteries and tissue and blood. She knew hearts. She knew where to cut, where to avoid, where to stitch. She knew how to fix hearts. Excellently.

_**So it's fairly simple to cut right through the mess,**_

The kid she had just operated on was complicated. He was a mess. A complicated mess and an excellent surgery and now she was lying on the floor of the on call room on her back her veins pumping with adrenaline. Meredith was right – why would anyone ever do drugs?

The surgery had been a success. And Teddy had let her do a lot of the work. Solo. And she had. And she had done it well. It was hard and difficult and complex but all at the same time it was simple. So very simple.

Because when Christina Yang stood in front of that table scalpel in hand the world melted away. Everything else melted away. And she could work.

Life was simple in the OR.

_**And to stop the muscle that makes us confess.**_

Outside of the OR though – not so simple. Hard, difficult, exhausting.

Outside she didn't get to look at hearts, touch hearts, fix hearts. No instead she was told to feel with her heart, follow her heart. A disgusted expression contorted the surgeons features as she remembered the latest heart crap she had been told. It had been courtesy of the perky new intern on her service. The one who was now doing rectal exams …..all day.

The one that had asked her if she had a broken heart.

The one that had asked her if Dr. Preston Burke had broken her heart.

The one who would be doing rectal exams for the next two weeks.

Hearts were not for feeling, hearts could not be broken. They could be perforated, they could arrest, they could deteriorate, convulse, stop. But they couldn't break.

Hearts were not for feeling. Hearts were to circulate blood around the body to deliver oxygen and nutrients to the body. That's what hearts were for. That's what she knew.

All this other stuff. Too hard.

**Hi everyone. This is my first Christina and Owen fic I do love them. So pretty please review! : )**

**I know that we seem to be missing the trauma surgeon but he'll most definitely be making an appearance in the next chapter.**

**Song is breakable by Ingrid Michaelson. Don't own it and you should check it out : )**

**Thanks for reading**

**Nina**


	2. Chapter 2

**Breakable**

**Chapter 2**

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><p><strong>And we are so fragile,<strong>

She sat on the bed and let her body fold in on itself until her head rested in her hands. She was tired, she was exhausted and it was suddenly too much. Where was Meredith when you needed her?

Wasn't she supposed to know when she needed her? Isn't that what was supposed to happen?

The surgeon took several deep breaths in, feeling the stress roll off her body. She shook her hands out. But she couldn't do it, she couldn't make herself relax. Her chest constricted and her face screwed up as memories flooded her memory. She felt her eyes prickling. She would not cry, she was NOT going to cry. She was Christina Yang. Hard, cold, stone-like Christina Yang, the one with no feelings, no sympathy or empathy or any types of pathy except perhaps for apathy – she could do apathy in abundance. So why wasn't it working now.

She wanted to operate. She needed to operate, to work. But _he_ was in there. He was in the OR, working on the patient that she was supposed to operating on.

Her throat constricted this time and she felt a familiar panic build up inside of her. The same panic that she felt when she was told that Burke was gone, the same feeling that overwhelmed her in her apartment as she began to realise all of his things that were gone, the same panic she felt when she had felt an excruciating pain in her lower abdomen.

It was all the same panic and it was all because of him. Why was he here?

**And our cracking bones make noise,**

She couldn't be here. She couldn't be in the same hospital as him. She wanted to escape. Her breathing got faster and the room spun slightly and she let herself lean against the wall feeling it's coolness beneath her scrubs. Unfortunately for her she lost the battle she was fighting with inner control and slid down the wall feeling months of ensuring everyone that she was fine, and being the cold, hard, unfeeling Christina Yang that everyone knew so well finally catch up to her. Her shoulders began to shake as the exhaustion took over,

She didn't even hear the door open several moments later. She didn't notice anyone in the room until he crouched before her and then she flinched so violently that he raised his hands in the universal gesture telling her that he wasn't going to hurt her. He let his hands rest on her knees once she let her head fall back against the door,

"Christina breathe" her eyes opened once again and she found his eyes that were a startling blue. She held his gaze feeling the heat from his hands on her skin so contrasting to the coldness that was from the floor and the wall.

"Breathe" his accented voice drew her back in and she focused on him again and he breathed with her. He nodded encouragingly as she began to claim control over her breathing. She sat still, her hands still shaking slightly, staring at him once she had returned back to normal,

**And we are just,**  
><strong>Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.<strong>

"I'm fine" a small smile adorned his lips at her words and he nodded once before standing up before her. Reaching a hand out she regarded it for a moment before stretching her hand up. He grasped it and pulled her effortlessly off the ground.

"You go.."

"Fine" she didn't let him finish the sentence and he nodded for the second time.

"Okay well listen I have this patient he's going to need emergency cardio surgery. Teddy's in the OR tied up with all the other cardio staff, so if you're up to it, I'd appreciate your assistance" he said as he leant back against the cupboards. Christina didn't fail to notice that he had carefully left out the name of the renowned surgeon, Preston Burke, that everyone couldn't seem to get enough of and she considered him for a moment allowing her respect for him to grow.

"What have you got?" she asked and he smiled before rattling off the newest case that had arrived in the ER that might as well be his ward by now. She'd seen his triage skills and she couldn't say she wasn't impressed. As he spoke she took him in again, she hadn't known what to think about the new trauma surgeon at first, but she had to admit now that she was suitably impressed. He knew his stuff and she didn't think that he would mention this little moment to anybody, plus he was letting her operate and that always won points in her book.

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><p><strong>Hey guys,<strong>

**Wow it's been just about forever since I've updated this,**

**It's just a quick update and it may be OOC a bit so sorry if it is,**

**Thanks for reading and I'd love it if you could leave a quick review!**

**Thanks**

**Nina**

**xx**


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